Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
  
Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

  
Bozone ( n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

  
Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the Person who doesn't get it.

  
Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

    
Decafalon (n.): The gruelling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

    
Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.