I have talked a lot in all of my books about how to deal with the death of an animal, but I haven’t said much about dealing with the time before they go, when they are old and you know death is coming, you just don’t know when. I find older animals to be really sweet, even though they often require a lot more time and care. Just being willing to slow down to their pace and hang in with them for however long they want to stay can be an enlightening experience. Normally people don’t get much exposure to that time at the end of life, but through our animals we learn of it. And that knowledge helps us live better I think. My advice to frantic clients who are panicked about when and whether to euthanize is to slow down and pay attention. Your animals will tell you when it’s time to go and whether they can go on their own. This is all very close to home because I just had to put down Bear, the dog in the photo with me. He told me very clearly when he wanted help. He was in pain, couldn’t settle, and finally wouldn’t eat. Very unBear like. I think our timing was perfect, but there is a hole in the world without him.

Bear Boy

Your Stories

This is a story a reader sent in in response to the piece I did about how animals really can hear you. If you have a story you think others might like please send it in with a photo, if available.

This week I had an amazing experience with Charlotte, my 7 year old golden retriever. I was telling her that a guest was coming. She knew the guest as he had visited before, so she should let him in the house as I would not be there. She should not bark at him or scare him but give him a nice greeting. I put that image out to her.  I had just come home from work and was frazzled and sorting out all kinds of details for a project I am working on, so I was not ready for the big message that came blasting in. I was really worried that Charlotte might get very upset with someone just walking in the door without me there. But Charlotte looked at me very intently and a few minutes went by, and then I heard “But I am going to be with you at the warehouse that day, so I will not be at home alone”. It was amazing. This is the first time that I have ever gotten such an immediate direct message. Believe me, my mind was cluttered with all the work stuff, and she came through loud and clear.                   Â

Deb

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Charlotte

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Column in StableWoman Gazette

Check out my new monthly column in the StableWoman Gazette and read some of the other columns there. It is a great resource for all us hopeless horse honeys (it’s ok for you guys to read it too!). For those of you who have horses… would you ever not?

http://www.stablewomangazette.com/intuitive-connection/

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Virtual Practice Groups

The Virtual Practice Groups for January are coming up next week: January 13, Wednesday. (Note: if you are more than  half a world away from California  it will be your Thursday!

Choose from three sessions: (these are all PST time – to check your time go to the world time converter at  http://www.timeanddate.com/worldclock/converter.html

• 10am – noon PST – this is a Skype session (no land lines, works for Europe)Â

• 5:30 – 7:30pm PST (by conference call, you will call a US#and pay the fee, works for any landline, cell phone)

• 8:00 – 10pm PST (this is by Skype – works for AU/ note this will be your January 14 Thursday)

When you sign up tell me which session you want to do. I will send you instructions for the session once you register. Please register early.

This Post Has 11 Comments

  1. Max

    Sorry to hear it was time to let Bear go. Even though you can still talk to him no doubt his physical prescence is sorely missed. Healing thoughts go out to you and Bear.

  2. Cynthia Burke

    Oh, Marta..so very sorry to hear that Bear is elsewhere….boy..he does leave a big empty space!

    Just finished Lynne McTaggart’s books…wonderful! Very helpful to my state of mind and being. Lots of wonderful things happening here…Bina is almost tumor-free..as I thought, she has gotten the upper hand, and with the Neoplasene, is popping them right off!
    More good healing goin’ on! Just had a nice talk with one of the folks at BrightHaven.org…re: natural death, etc. I have a five-month old leukemia-pos guy, and am learning what to do…Littermates neg!)

    Love to you and dear BEAR!

    Cynthia et al.

  3. Jeanne Hawks

    Oh, dearheart, many blessings to you. When I use to counsel I always reminded people that everything you love will leave you…unless you die first. Having to deal with that twice last year I was reminded by a close friend that each of us (4 leggeds included!) has our own calendar we go by. Know we all are diminished by Bear’s absence in this world. Love to you and the rest of the kids. J

  4. Gonny

    Wish you all the strenght, it is natural, but never easy I guess. Although this year it was much easier to say goodbye to our Layka because I did talk with her before she died and after she died.

    Speaking of old age, in our house we have 2 oldies, one of them is Rocky a Jack Russell mix and he is 16 years old, we have him in our house for more than 12 years. Now and again he has trouble with his hind legs. But he enjoys to go outside, he enjoys het meet, sleeps a lot and is very gratefull for everything. He was the boss untill a few years ago. I give him Reiki on a regular base and he enjoys that as well. He is not ready to go, but we are prepared.

    The other oldie is Rosco a border mix, he is 13 and 3 months longer with us than Rocky. He is still going strong, his sight is getting worse, so he is a bit clumsy when he wants to jump on a couch.

    The other four are still young, but Layka also wasn’t very old. I guess you have to enjoy all of them for as long as you possibly can.

  5. Pat Gillingham

    Marta,

    It is hard to lose one of our dear animal friends. You certainly were there for me when my dachsie DeeDee was so sick last year. You were so right when you said that they tell you when they are ready to leave us. I am sorry I could not be there for you. I am left with so many good memories of DeeDee. She was a gift as I am sure that Bear is for you. How lucky we are to have such love and gifts from our little spirits. God bless.
    Fondly,

    Pat Gillingham and her other 12 animal family members

  6. Mardell

    Marta,
    I am sorry to here about bear. I know the loss you feel but trust me he will be with you every day until he knows you will be ok without him. I have been a veterinary assistant for 35 years and over that time I have been with hundreds of people who had to let there loved one go. I always tell them the story of my best friend Awsom. He was my sole mate and the best friend anyone could have ever asked for. I had to put him down at age 10 after a hard fight with colon cancer. The look in his eyes told me that he was tired of fighting and he didn’t want to be in pain anymore. My whole family was there to say good by and after giving all of us a very big lick he took his last breath and he was gone. To this day I still see him lying on the floor in the hallway where he always love to lay because I know he felt that there he could protect the whole family because they would have to pass him to get to us. I still have his grandaughter and I find that she will not pass him as he lays in the hallway and sometimes he makes it very hard for her to get around him. What I am trying to say is just keep you eyes open because they do hang around us. Again I am sorry for your loss.
    Sincerely Mardell

  7. Jackie

    I am very sorry to hear about Bear. He was a very nice dog.

    Scout also passed away recently. She had a very long and happy life. We had a lot of great times together.

    I hope she and Bear are playing together.

  8. Susan Pipes

    Hi Marta

    I am so sorry to hear about Bear, he was such a great guy! I know you will miss him terribly, you both had such a great connection with each other. It’s hard.

    Light

    Sue

  9. Gege

    dearest Martha,
    how lovely it was to have met Bear when I brought my newly adopted dog, Moon (then Buster) for a visit with you a year ago. Bear was so very welcoming to my then confused doggie. In fact it was on that day that I changed my dog’s name to Moon (since he had clearly told me that name in my kitchen one morning). We are sending you much healing love and thank you both for opening your home to both of us.
    with love,
    gege & moon

  10. Marlane Spillinger

    Dear Marta, I’m so sorry to hear of Bear’s passing. He was/is such a vibrant, loving and fun guy, so much a part of you. Since life is continuous through death, I’m hopeful that in his next incarnation you two will be together again. Love, Marlane

  11. Jane

    Marta, I am sorry to hear about Bear. I remember when Dixie and I met you at the 100 acre park last summer and Bear taught Dixie it was ok to go in the pond. We went back many times after that in the hot summer. Dixie is less afraid of water but still hasn’t gone swimming. I hope to have her experience the fun of swimming in the spring. I am glad to have finally met you in person and such a friendly dog in Bear.
    Jane Cauley

Comments are closed.